EP 117 : Overcoming Mental Struggles with Derick Johnson
Introduction:
Welcome to the DYB Podcast! In today’s episode, we have a special guest, US Army veteran Derek Johnson, who will share his insights on how to take control of your mind and body to thrive in today’s fast-paced world.
We dive into the reasons why people struggle mentally and how the constant distractions of technology and media affect our attention spans. Derek offers practical tips on how to regain control of your attention and make intentional choices about where you invest your time and energy.
So grab your headphones and get ready for an eye-opening discussion on how to find balance in the digital age. You won’t want to miss this episode of the DYB Podcast!
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TRANSCRIPTION:
00:01.80
dybsteve
Today’s guest is a us army veteran he was awarded soldier of the year for his battalion 3 times received numerous awards for pt and took his leadership skills certifications and life experiences to help people take control of their mind and body so that it can thrive. Not just survive Derek Johnson welcome to the show. My friend pleasure to have you let’s get right into it. Why do you think people struggle mentally so much now these days.
00:22.66
Derick J
Thanks for having me Steve it’s a pleasure being here. That’s a great question Steve I think it’s because people don’t have attention of their own attention. They don’t have control of their own attention and what I mean by that is all these apps on our phone kids dogs.
00:45.61
dybsteve
So no.
00:50.36
Derick J
Neighbors The media celebrities agendas like all this stuff everything and everyone wants your attention right now where people’s attention span in human history is lower than ever. There’s a funny study that shows that goldfish have a higher attention span and longer attention span than humans like it’s actually real. You could look it up. But.
00:58.33
dybsteve
No.
01:06.22
dybsteve
Um, ah yeah, right.
01:09.16
Derick J
That shows you where we’re at because we’re all over the place and everyone like I’m addicted to the devices you’re addicted. We’re all addicted to a certain extent whether that’s a good addiction and bad. But I noticed that people nowadays are less likely present than they used to be so.
01:14.95
dybsteve
Maybe more.
01:22.94
dybsteve
And.
01:26.48
Derick J
I’m thirty three years old. So I grew up with cassette tapes with the Dvds then the wi-fi and then I had the dial-up internet I changed the fax cord and all that and then now obviously in the digital age and it’s interesting that our generation and your generation we knew when people were more present and now in public. The kids have the ipad.
01:42.48
dybsteve
Um.
01:46.16
Derick J
Baby has an ipad the parents are on the phone. The dad’s doing the business call and nobody’s present anymore and it’s interesting. It’s sad and it’s also crazy to see but I think that’s number 1 is people don’t have control of their attention and they’re always somewhere they can ever really focus on 1 thing at a time.
01:49.13
dybsteve
Boom.
02:01.69
dybsteve
Which okay begs to ask how can somebody take control of their attention and their situation.
02:09.32
Derick J
Yeah, for sure so I would highly suggest when it comes to screen time step one look at your screen time. So whether somebody has samzone iphone. They can look at it inside of each individual app. And they might be shocked. They might be surprised in a good way of how many hours or minutes per day or per week they use on these particular apps and then they can say okay I spend 3 hours here 4 hours there too many hours on this app. Let me look at my actual day and then slowly. Start to reverse engineer their day to see what their time and attention is really being put to and put on because from there if they start with that they might get a reality check and say I had no clue I was spending this much time on Facebook or on Linkedin and Instagram and then they are like wow.
02:45.48
dybsteve
And.
02:58.49
Derick J
If I just get that time back or if I utilize that time to actually create content rather than they could just consume it so I would first start with checking their screen time even if they’re not on social media. There’s something that they utilize on their laptop or on their tv that takes up their time for some people. It’s Netflix some it’s Youtube.
03:05.12
dybsteve
No.
03:17.26
Derick J
But I would first start with really being honest with yourself with themselves and seeing how many hours per day or per week they utilize on these devices and if those hours are actually helping them in their goals or is it just for entertainment or to get an endorphin hit because we all have a pattern to an extent.
03:32.65
dybsteve
Um.
03:35.54
Derick J
So an example could be. You’re about to send an important email have an important call whenever we don’t want to do that thing. Everybody has a cycle they first check the news then they check Instagram then they do this like we all have an endorphin hit cycle. So. Trying to figure out what our endorphin hit cycle is and then taking control again slowly.
03:54.51
dybsteve
So like you mentioned I’m like I’ve got mine’ve got I’ve got the email I’ve got to Facebook and I’ve got like this four after it there does bang bang bang bang hit all 4 of them now all fairness I work on Facebook right? I have a membership that’s in a private community. So it’s my responsibility to get in there engage.
04:09.62
Derick J
Um, yeah for sure.
04:11.32
dybsteve
But you know’s there’s more to it if I’m honest, it’s like no I start scrolling and but you’re right? So they say this I’m like I check my email and then I’ve got a group me out for private client groups and and then I’ve got the Facebook group you know because I’ve got to work on there. But yeah once I get in there and check it I’m just scrolling scrolling and.
04:26.20
Derick J
Um, oh yeah.
04:28.56
dybsteve
And I know I’ve got another one. Oh then I go to Twitter that’s my last resort for just like what’s going on out there you know and just to check out. So I do I hit those 4 bang bang bang bang and I do it just subconsciously I know exactly where they are you know thumb pattern without a.
04:33.70
Derick J
Um, yeah.
04:41.93
Derick J
For sure.
04:42.88
dybsteve
Without having to look them. Yeah, and I’ve even rearranged my have sometimes but still you find them and you just recreate that pattern. It’s right. It’s like a password pattern. You know you just you remember it and you you.
04:51.70
Derick J
Exactly yeah, it’s an interesting routine sometimes it can be good like I do a similar cycle posting content on everything and then if people can just zoom out for a second just pause and really look at what is my cycle and what is my repetition am I doing this just when I’m stressed and don’t feel like doing something.
05:01.82
dybsteve
And.
05:09.95
Derick J
And I’d do it to get an endorphin hit and to get entertainment or am I doing this because we use business have a team have clients so teach their own experience. But if people just are honest with themselves and starting with that before they try to add something to their routine or do something new first and just to say.
05:19.94
dybsteve
Yeah.
05:27.41
Derick J
Where’s my time and attention actually going to.
05:27.73
dybsteve
So say we’re brave and we pull up our screen time all right? So that’s a big first step. It’s kind of like just saying somebody who feels like they’re overweight to step on a scale because we know it’s gonna be bad like I’m thinking about it going I’m not pulled it up during this.
05:34.27
Derick J
Yes.
05:41.30
Derick J
Yes, exactly.
05:45.39
dybsteve
And no meaning you know afterward check. But we’re not going to talk about it right now. So somebody has the courage to pull it up. They take a look at it now they see what it is I don’t know I’m just gonna throw out it run number like 10 hours of screen time right? Maybe it’s five I don’t know I just like throwing out random numbers now. What’s the first step how from there once they see where they’re at what where do they go from there.
06:07.21
Derick J
So once they see the time they can actually see even more analytics. The cool thing about a lot of these apps that many people don’t look at are the analytics on the backend so you could see screen time and then it can show you most common pages that they look at most common topics, industries, Etc, etc. And then they can say.
06:20.85
dybsteve
1
06:26.44
Derick J
Do any of these topics actually serve me or is it just entertainment. So basically our time and then going deeper industry page and all that and then pinpointing does any of this have to do with my goals for some people it does like myself I only follow pages that inspired me or put me in a good mood.
06:44.49
dybsteve
Um.
06:45.23
Derick J
Don’t follow any media pages. Don’t follow any political figures or anything like that because I just don’t care because I just don’t have control over it and I’m not going to get triggered or aggravated by one post and get on Facebook and argue with somebody and waste 20 minutes and then be pissed off for 2 hours so I don’t allow I don’t allow myself to do that. So.
06:51.98
dybsteve
Um.
07:00.60
dybsteve
Yeah, and.
07:04.41
Derick J
I would first start with that time industry pages and then zooming out of the social media and electronics saying what am I doing the first hour of my morning am I grabbing my phone or am I spending time with my kids am I going to the gym am I walking my dog am I drinking water. Or do I wake up and then lay in my bed for 30 minutes and just scroll and then get stressed. So I always focus on the first things first the morning routine and to each their own. But I challenge people to choose 2 things 1 do something for the body whether that’s walking running weightlifting yoga. Whatever their thing is.
07:28.18
dybsteve
Me.
07:43.19
dybsteve
And.
07:43.87
Derick J
And 2 1 thing for the mind prayer meditation visualization journaling whatever their thing is but if they only choose 2 they feel more in control because some people I notice is very common that they’ll choose 10 things just to feel that endorphin hit which is almost the equivalent of the digital endorphin hit. They’re like. Journaled I did this I meditated I said my visualization I did all this and the rest of the day they’re not productive at all. But in the morning they feel good mentally because they did these things but it doesn’t correlate to their day or their life. So I would first assess where their time attention is going to and then really look at their morning.
08:05.28
dybsteve
And.
08:19.91
Derick J
Because the morning is the key to the day to primemate because many people they don’t have control their morning so they’re just reacting all day. So by the time their day starts. They’re overwhelmed getting the text emails calls notifications. They’re like oh my God can I catch a break but all that is saying is that.
08:24.23
dybsteve
No.
08:37.81
Derick J
That individual does not have control of their morning so they’re reacting all all day long. So by the time it’s dinner time with family. They’re not present because they’re just worn out and they feel like they have to let the edge off by drinking whatever their vice is but like they never feel like they actually caught up. They feel like they’re drowning in tasks and all these different things.
08:40.12
dybsteve
Um, um.
08:46.44
dybsteve
Um.
08:57.16
Derick J
But it normally stems back to their morning routine. So I challenge them to control that more and choose 1 thing for the body and then one thing for the mind.
09:05.45
dybsteve
Right On. So Mine is now it doesn’t happen every morning just to be honest, but the plan is for our mornings I wake up use a restroom I Weigh in ah turn the coffee pot on take my dog out. Come back in pour the cup of coffee have a bible study prayer. And then I get into what I call it jam session and that’s where I work on my most important project. So I work on the business to push something forward after that family wakes up connect breakfast and then then I’ll shoot to the gym and then head over to the office and that’s when all the busy stuff you know in the meetings Happen. So.
09:26.16
Derick J
Perfect.
09:38.41
Derick J
Nice.
09:41.64
dybsteve
I agree with you The morning routine is is is critical. So appreciate that.
09:44.97
Derick J
Oh yeah, because you can definitely feel like the confidence in the power of that morning. You’re like I enjoy it I already did these 10 tasks I feel good rather than 10 a m you’re like oh man I haven’t even done any of this and now these people need me and they need me and then I have a bill do and I have do a presentation.
09:48.75
dybsteve
You already won the yeah. Fake. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, So it’s the yeah, so win the morning First hello right on now as a leader what common traits have you noticed in people.
10:07.57
Derick J
Oh yes.
10:14.68
Derick J
So very common ones in regards to people that do really well generally in their career or just in their personal life is they were 1 either former athletes because they have that drive that fire that competitive competitiveness in them or they were in the military.
10:18.50
dybsteve
No.
10:34.39
Derick J
Or they did some group setting thing. Whether that’s church youth group whether that is banned but they naturally just have that fire to do something in a group or just as an individual competitive standpoint. So those are very common and they do really? Well they just need either information. They maybe need guidance and accountability. But they easily adapt and they get fast results because they already have that thing in them other people they lack the accountability. So. It’s hard for them to stay disciplined to stay motivated cultivate a good morning routine and all that they might do it for two weeks
10:59.47
dybsteve
Um.
11:11.58
Derick J
They fall off or they just need some accountability and guidance and to see an example or maybe they just don’t know what to do because nowadays in the information age. So much information is coming at us. This guy says eat liver Only this guy says only eat vegetables. This lady says all that’s going to kill you.
11:12.19
dybsteve
When.
11:21.28
dybsteve
Up and.
11:28.40
Derick J
And people are overwhelmed. They’re like okay, everybody’s is extreme on these apps and Dr Oz says buy my product and you’re like I don’t even know where to start? What do I do and because they’re overwhelmed. They just don’t take action. They’re just like well I don’t know what’s going to be good for me. So let me just stick to what I know.
11:35.60
dybsteve
This one.
11:45.92
Derick J
Whether that’s good bad or unhealthy, but those are the 2 common things. The person that just does not know what to take action on or they’re struggling with the accountability and the discipline and then the others they just need some structure and knowing exactly what to do but they already have that fire in them.
11:59.10
dybsteve
The drive. Do you find that some of those who have the fire. The intense ambition to succeed usually are usually have um, either some deep insecurities or a chip on their shoulder to fame that.
12:03.36
Derick J
Yeah, exactly.
12:17.72
dybsteve
Ban excuse me that flame.
12:19.38
Derick J
Yeah, for sure I totally agree I think the issue with so like let’s create a scenario we all knew whether we were that guy or where whether we de weren’t let’s say the high school jock poplar. Maybe you like him. Maybe you don’t like him. He’s good with everybody. He makes people laugh and it’s like maybe he’s a prick but he acts a certain way. He normally crushes it naturally in sales because he just doesn’t care and people can sense that and they’re like Jimmy gets the job done.
12:43.27
dybsteve
And.
12:49.63
Derick J
He is a prick sometimes but hey we can trust him to get the job done because he’s going to get it done so like him he naturally will do well in sales. But what can happen with those individuals. Not all jocks are not all people like that. But the majority they have massive pride and ego that they’re not good leaders on paper. They’re number 1 in sales. But if you put them to do a presentation. They can’t communicate with people with a team if you put them in a management position. It’s really hard for them because they don’t understand they’re like why do you guys? suck at x y z skill because they just have the pride in the ego in the way to actually teach to be patient with people.
13:16.90
dybsteve
Me.
13:26.41
Derick J
And all the other traits of a leader they’re more so good as the individual which is great. Everybody needs a killer salesperson on their team but they’re not the best teachers and the best coaches and things of that nature. So I do notice that it’s because of the pride and egos in the way that they’re like my way or the highway or they just lack.
13:41.27
dybsteve
You.
13:45.52
Derick J
Communication skills outside of their one realm which they crush so they usually crush it in 1 setting but because of pride and ego for them to just pause and say you know what this approach with Steve is different I have to speak to him differently Michelle I have to approach her differently and they don’t really have that much.
14:01.92
dybsteve
1 1
14:03.28
Derick J
Emotional intelligence What I notice they may have the Iq for their industry but the the eq is lacking. Oh yeah.
14:09.88
dybsteve
Eq is important. Yeah, ah well speaking of emotion. How can we use pain as fuel.
14:19.59
Derick J
Great question So depending on what the pain is I always suggest pinpointing where did it start and so whether somebody’s talked to a psychologist a therapist or just did a deep dive with themselves is where did this actually come from and trying to by themselves pinpoint the root. So It could be like my example alcoholic parents on paper very successful killed it in their careers. Great reputation and all that but behind closed doors after the last bottle was drink screaming yelling Glass thrown all that for a decade or whatever but I saw that that was the example of just not.
14:57.73
dybsteve
He.
14:58.92
Derick J
Getting the help that they needed or doing the inner work. So as a kid and teen I never like really took it personal the first couple times. Yes, you’re like what is going on but then after a while you realize that those people are more so projecting. So when you can.
15:11.92
dybsteve
Um.
15:14.21
Derick J
Except that a lot of people just project something. They don’t have or something they didn’t work on like they hit a barrier of I don’t know what else to do from here all I know how to do is be aggressive and if you can zoom out for a second and not just be emotional or angry or give them the reaction that they expect and just Zoom out and say you know what. Maybe something happened in their past or right now and they’re just projecting so I’m not going to add fire to the fire and we just fight and argue and that could be coworkers that could be relationships but I truly believe the best leaders they can harness that pain by pausing for a moment.
15:34.95
dybsteve
Meaning.
15:51.26
Derick J
Zooming out to look at a different perspective so they can make the right decision rather than just fi-fire with fire or vice versa and so utilizing that pain by first zooming out and saying what is actually happening and what is my reaction going to be so I always challenge people to pause. It’s way easier said than done. But if they can. Just start to try to pause before they react and then they they can make a better decision where maybe their first reaction is yelling anger custom out walk away. Don’t say a word like whatever their natural instinct is their autopiler response. Pause for a moment say is that really the best thing or is that what I do because I don’t want to face the pain face the emotions. Whatever it is so I would first face it pause and then zoom out to see what perspective you can see so as a teen in those situations when that was happening.
16:32.18
dybsteve
Um.
16:46.55
Derick J
I would Zoom out and say okay, younger version of me used to be very scared and I was very skinny and I was bullied by family was bullied at school. So I got into fitness to not get bigger and fight the bullies but to have more confidence in myself. So current me was getting yelled at by whoever and then future me I would imagine.
16:58.50
dybsteve
You.
17:05.95
Derick J
Version 10.0 is looking down at me and saying hey this is going to make you or is’s going to break you or you can utilize these stories to help others so you could either be a victim or be a victor and teachsh your own on their view of that. But if people can harness the skill of perspective hopping that can help them so much.
17:13.38
dybsteve
And.
17:25.73
Derick J
With their pain and the last thing is I would say have people actually released these things so as men were supposed to man up suck it up drive on whatever our dads or our military told us and that works at first we got to get the job done as men. But.
17:38.20
dybsteve
Beer.
17:43.60
Derick J
We’ve all been there where we feel like we’re about to snap on somebody like it’s we’re just boiling and we just feel like we need a release and most men would grab the beer. Grab the Jack Daniels grab the cigarette do whatever their advice is to get the edge off quote unquote but when was the last time they actually released releasing could be. Crying for 2 minutes in the car or in the truck like away from everyone or just grabbing the steering wheel and just like yelling for 2 minutes sometimes we just literally just have to release an emotion or it could come from a workout. It could also come from prayer or just like calmness meditation and and the last thing would be to spend more time in nature. But.
18:07.78
dybsteve
Um.
18:12.69
dybsteve
And.
18:21.18
Derick J
Going back to it is pausing perspective hopping and then from there asking ourselves have I actually released my own pain lately or am I just carrying this weight and baggage with me into everything that I do and destroying the relationships with people whether that’s business or anything else. So we’ve all been around people that. They can’t control their emotions and they usually they do well for a bit but they don’t last long because they always have issues with people. So yeah I would challenge people to do those 3 things pause look at the different perspectives and the last one would be to ask themselves. What do I actually do to release this pain and is it actually something that’s beneficial.
18:47.98
dybsteve
Pause.
18:56.75
dybsteve
Um.
19:00.17
Derick J
Am I just masking it with vices or am I releasing it with a workout then my mind is calm then I went on a walk then I sat outside and prayed visualized like do I have control of the reaction of my pain.
19:11.65
dybsteve
Right on? Wow Okay man there was a ton of value in real short times I appreciate that those is there a question I should have asked or a final point that you’d like to make.
19:27.91
Derick J
Um, not necessarily a question but I would just challenge people to see what can I do to become the man or the woman that I would be proud of and how can I give him or her to others. So I believe we’re all here to serve people.
19:41.45
dybsteve
Um.
19:42.21
Derick J
And like no longer be Selfish. So What they could say out loud is people depend on me I don’t want to get up I don’t either but people depend on me people depend on you I don’t want to make this call I don’t want to do this Thing. We’re all Human. We don’t want to do many things but if we start to put other people in front of us we can show up better. But it all starts with taking care of Ourselves. So What can you do to make yourself proud as the man or woman that you are and how can you give him or her to others.
20:07.91
dybsteve
Right? on Fantastic If somebody like to follow up with the best way they can contact you.
20:13.96
Derick J
They could find me on any social app at fit with Derek two derick with the number 2 or they can just type my name in it’s the same picture but my whole intent with social media is to make people think plant a seed in their head. When they’re laying in bed about to not train. They think of whatever I’m saying in a video. It’s calling them out but hey it’s always from a place of let’s stop wasting our potential. So it’s not for everyone but hey for some people they resonate with that.
20:36.80
dybsteve
Yeah, well, you’ll be happy to hear that right after our interview here I’m going to the gym. So pushing. Yeah, right cause I didn’t make it this morning but I’m still going. Fantastic Derek. Thank you so much I appreciate it.
20:45.11
Derick J
Awesome! Love it. Perfect. Thanks for having me see.